TIME TO HELP “FREE-RANGE PARENTS”

Wow, look at this!  Free-Range Kids!!!!

Parents need to learn about the rights for their children to learn about their own independence.

 

Today, we keep hearing about all those over-protective parents that won’t let their kids out of their sight.  Boy is that approach to child-rearing different from the way my wife, my sister and I were raised, or how we raised our own children.  Early on, in our Summers, we were out of the house after breakfast, playing all over the neighborhood on our own.  We didn’t show up at home until we got hungry for lunch.  After lunch, it was outside again, and sometimes we didn’t show up until just before our dad got home from work.

When going to school everyday, we took the bus, or if it was just a few block away, we walked to school starting at about the age of 7or 8.  When high school started, we walked over a 1½ miles to and from the school, walking through orchards and parts of town just to get to school.  My wife had to walk about the same distance for catching a municipal bus to the Catholic school in the next town.  Yes, she rode the bus alone, carrying her books and other belongings.

Today, it is getting totally ridiculous, and unfortunately, some local police organizations are joining in with all the stupidity. 

For those parents that act as our parents did, today they are referred to as “Free-Range Parents”, and the local police sometimes don’t like that approach.  In some towns, if you allow your child to play in the front yard w/o a fence and locked gate, you can be turned-in by a neighbor or visited by a local police officer.  You may then be warned to not let your child outside their homes without a parent in attendance.

 

Here's a recent personal story of a young family in a small mid-western town.

In this case, it started with a young 6 year old that was accosted by an officer for riding his bicycle on the sidewalk in front of his own house. (The home was on a block that was only three houses long)  The boy was riding from one end of the short block to the other. The officer announced to the boy’s dad who was home at the time, that his son wasn’t allowed to play on the sidewalk without supervision. 

 

The police department had apparently received a call from a so called, “concerned citizen” who had seen the boy riding his bike alone. In this particular case, the officer was highly aggressive and he frightened the parents into thinking they might actually have broken some law. A little research later showed that they had broken no laws, but they were still shaken up.

A few weeks later, this same mother walked their middle son, Danny, age 10, halfway to the library.  The library is six blocks from their house in a very safe neighborhood that crosses no major roads.  In fact, there is a school in the center of that route.  The mom had let her son take the second half of the route alone, while she walked on to her office which was only several blocks from their house.

Just as the mom arrived at her work, she received a call from another police officer.  This officer had detained her son. The officer then launched into an explanation of why it was dangerous for the boy to be out by himself.  The mom calmly explained that Danny had her permission, and that she knew where he was.  She said she appreciated the advice, but that Danny was to be permitted to continue on his way.

The officer replied with, “Ma’am, I’m going to need you to come down here right now!” 

 

The mother did come, and when she arrived she proceeded to receive a lecture from the policeman about child safety.   Afterwards, she walked her son the rest of the way to the library.  She had to do that because Danny was now afraid to walk there alone. He later walked home alone safely, but that was because his mother had let the officer know that he would be walking past the school again, and he would be just fine.

The end results of all this is that despite their best efforts for allaying their children's fears, the children now won’t leave their property without one of the parents.  This is all occurring out of legitimate fear that they will be stopped by the local police.  Their youngest son won’t even play in the front yard alone. He no longer rides his bike because there is nowhere to ride it unless one of his parents is able to make the time to go with him to the park.  And the park is less than a block from their house. 

Now, some days after this latest event, the father was able to talk their 10-year-old into walking to the convenience store that is two blocks from their house.  For getting to the store, there is a traffic light with a crosswalk over a two-lane street.  The dad had sent the boy to the store with some money and he asked the son to pick up a couple things for the home.  He also told him to buy himself a treat. 

 

However, due to their son’s anxiety, the father had decided to follow at a distance, just out of sight, in case Danny got scared and decided to return home.

Danny made it about halfway to the store before being accosted by another police officer who escorted him to the store.  The officer said a “concerned citizen” had called about an unattended child on the sidewalk. By the time the father got to the store, the officer had taken down Danny’s address and had asked for his dad’s phone number.

 

Now the officer in this case was very kind and did not offer a lecture, but both the officer and the convenience store clerk said that “someone was looking out for your son", i.e., the “concerned citizen” who had called.

But this is still not over.

The small town’s assistant city manager had seen the mom’s initial Facebook posts on the incident and did respond appropriately.  He then had the deputy chief of police call the mother and discuss the situation. The deputy agreed to send an email to his department instructing the officers on how to handle these situations in the future. (Presumably, that meant with less heavy-handedness, but there was no real explanation of what was actually sent).

After the last incident at the store, the assistant city manager contacted the family again and said he would have the City Manager call.  However, so far, there has been no call from the City Manager. 

The reality of this family is that they are now deciding what to do in going forward.

First, they still have no desire to be anything but “Free Range Parents”.  However, they don’t think that is even possible where they live today.

So, at this point, they feel they have the following three options:

a. Move somewhere else (But they would have to wait out the lease on their house and the wife's office, both of which were just renewed.)

b. Make even more of a big stink (However, that takes a lot of time and energy, and they’re still recovering from the recession.  The mom works a 60-hour week,  the dad home-schools the kids and works part-time.)

c. Just lay low and put up with it all.

I think that the first item is what will probably be needed, but in the mean time, perhaps we, "Free Range Believers" can lend a hand.

Let’s help this family use their story for getting other American opinion writers involved and writing about this non-American "captive" approach to growing up.  Oh, I know that “Free-Range Parenting” is not something that can be applied across the board in every community.  With all the gang problems and the drug-dealer issues in the major cities, Free Range Parenting isn’t for everyone or everywhere. 

 

But in most of America, being raised in some fashion as we were raised, that should work out just fine.  Let’s help do our part in getting TV, the major papers, the Internet and social media to help families like this one.  Let's help them in their ability to raise their families to be independent and secure in both their minds and in their hearts.

Let’s do all the we can do for all the Free-Range Parents, Free-Range Kids and commonsense parents everywhere.

Copyright G.Ater  2015